I had no yellow shirt. I went for Bersih 3.0 in my old white shirt, my old little digital camera & a small light knapsack filled with water and some cookies & cakes. I didn’t make them, but got it off a hotel and my first thought was that I’ll attend the rally and give these to the officers.
The day before the rally, someone told me that I should know what I am marching for. That this is about a clean and fair elections march. Of course I know, but I am also marching because I wanted to see how the people are in such a huge gathering. I regret missing the previous rally so this made me determined to go for it, especially when things in the country did not really improve but in fact got progressively worst.
Another colleague told me not to go, but that I should pray to God for change in the country. For half an hour, while we were waiting to attend to some high profile clients, she preached to me about stories in the Bible, how David only became king when God deemed him ready (and quite a number of other examples). “So there’s no need to go, just stay home and pray.”
I told her that I will pray, but my prayers are different from hers. I pray through action. There’s a saying that goes, God moves only when I move. So I am doing exactly that. Her concern mustn’t be equated to cowardice, it’s just that her views are different from mine, but our wants are the same.
After work, I packed up and moved out. Walking with strangers was a little bit lonely at first. One of my online contacts was suppose to meet me at a designated spot but he left much earlier due to some other reason. Anyway, the loneliness dissipated when we started talking to one another. We were all headed in the same direction and we know what the purpose is for in our hearts. And we know that we are not alone from then onwards.
The chants were louder as we approached the corner of Maybank and Kota Raya. Overhead, the Rapid LRT trains rumbled past and I felt the ground shake with the voices of the thousands of participants slowly making their way to the Dataran Merdeka (Independence Square). Everyone was chanting “Bersih! Bersih! Bersih! Bersih!” (clean! clean! clean! clean!) simultaneously in a steady rhythm. That was when I lost myself in the crowd and met even more people.
Somewhere in the mass, some one with a loudspeaker prodded the chanting along, spirits were high and everyone smiled easy. Whenever the march halted, people sat down and looked at one another and smiled. At many points, it’s worthy to note that most stood where they were as there wasn’t any free space to even sit on. Many came with friends, family, father carrying their little ones on their shoulders, loved ones – couples holding hands as they moved onward, and some alone but still in the midst of like-minded citizens. Whenever we stopped, people would drink from their own water bottles, chat happily with anyone, and adjusted their caps to the bright sunlight, or took pictures of the massive crowd… and one student in front of me went around passing his share of Mentos sweets to anyone who would accept it.
Somewhere in the crowd, a very angry looking man, pushed forward shouting hateful anti-government statements coupled with foul language and punching his right fist into the air while doing so. Everyone around him looked at him like he did not belong and no one wanted to be near him. Where he went with his anti-government slogans, the people created a bubble around him, clearly indicating that they didn’t think much of him. We’re here for free & fair elections, it isn’t about toppling the government and/or wanting any minister dead. His angry shouting gave me a nauseous feeling and I went ahead quickly to avoid the noise he was making, all the while wishing somehow somewhere someone would remove him from the streets.

Two over-sized inflated yellow balls were being bounced around above our heads as rally goers gleefully joined in the fun to get the ball rolling from one end of the crowd to the other.
My aim was to reach the barrier where the Dataran Merdeka was blocked off. I have been at that square countless times during my work and it has always been used for so many different types of occasions, and most (in my personal opinion) were meaningless and a huge waste of money, not to mention unpatriotic. So it’s annoying to me why the authorities would not just permit the protestors to just sit on it, make their protests known, and then everyone can just go home in time for tea and/or a movie without fuss.
As I went along, I made a note. It took me 15 minutes just to get from Kota Raya to the Burger King just before the Masjid Jamek LRT stations by walking. That’s how crowded it was. Foreign visiting tourists were seen on the rooftops of the Reggae Mansion, taking pictures and pointing into the sea of yellow and green below them. Were they prepared for what was to happen next?
Just as I was about to take a different direction in order to get to the barrier faster, I walked right into another man who instantly gave me the oddest feeling that I know him very well.
When he looked at me, it took him a few seconds before his eyes registered. Once recognition set in, we were shaking hands in the midst of the chanting crowd and catching up with what we were doing. He was my lecturer from when I was still a student in college, and he had taught us creative thinking, using our right brains, problem solving and even soul searching at one point when topics in class touched on religion. In short, this man taught us how to think for ourselves.
“Are you here alone today?” he asked. Well yeah, but it didn’t feel too lonely actually. Everyone was having too good a time to actually feel lonely. But he could tell I was on my own. “It’s good you are here.” His eyes shone as he said this. He had purposely come all the way from Kedah (a many hours long way north of this city) to attend this rally & give his support to a cause he believes in. He held my hand for one last time and told me how happy he was to see me attending the rally, and then he was off to search for his wife somewhere behind the crowd.
Excited, I quickly fished out my phone and wanted to tell a very good friend of mine (who had the biggest crush on this once-lecturer when we were still studying together). I wanted to tell her I saw Mohd A. (not going to name him in full) and that it’s a shame she isn’t with me. The lines seemed jammed up. I couldn’t tweet, message or even make a call out. Because of this, I decided to just move forward as quickly as possible without wasting time. My aim was to see the barriers the police had setup which some of my friends ahead of me said were set up like a war zone.
As I neared the corner of the Magistrate Court and almost about to reach the main road overlooking the Merdeka Square, the chants had changed to “Buka! Buka! Buka!” (open! open! open!). This went on for a while and then there was a pause to the chants. As I made my way forward, more and more people were making their way back. Someone to my right asked one of these retreating people what was happening, one of the men said, “It’s over, there’s nothing more to see. We are going home.” When he said that, the people who heard him looked thoughtful and some actually turned back and followed the retreating line.
That was when we first caught a glimpse of a single line of thick white smoke flying into the crowd. In a few more seconds, more lines of white smoke were seen flying into the same direction of the crowd in front of us as more began retreating.
Then the first shouts of panic broke through as we felt the effects of the tear gas and screams were heard on all directions from both men and women.



















